Name The One Politicians are like sperm, one in a million turns out to be human.
Another Ooops… The Church Bulletin Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
What If I… Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. Stop! If you’re stupid, taking supplements won’t make your hair smarter.
Ooops… The Church Bulletin Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 pm. Please use back door.
And Now a Few Words From 1955 It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.
And Yet Another Ooops From The Church Bulletin The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”
Another Ooops From The Church Bulletin The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
Could This Be Useful Today? In Medieval times, the accused often faced a ‘trial by ordeal’, where they, for example, were forced to stick their arm into a vat of boiling water. If their arm emerged unscathed, it was believed ‘God’ protected them, thus proving their innocence. (Just saying…)
Aaaah… Never Mind The Banana cannot reproduce itself; it can be propagated only by the hand of man.
And I Thought It Was The Toothpaste Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
Did We Get It Wrong, Or What? So in retrospect, on 1 January 2016, not a single person got the answer right to “Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?”
Yeah, Lockdown Has Ended So I decided it was time to clean my bedroom. Hung up my clothes and discovered that too expensive treadmill. Stood there for couple of seconds in a daze. Went back to the closet, grabbed the clothes off their hangers and covered up that damn ‘mill’ again. Nope, not ready for this.
Anagrams We Are SNOOZE ALARMS When you rearrange the letters: ALAS, NO MORE Z’S.
A Few Truths: Families are like fudge – mostly sweet, with a few nuts. Laughing is good exercise, it’s like jogging on the inside. Growing old is mandatory; Growing up is optional.
Hurtful Truths Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
The Irish Way
* Is folamh fuar e teach gan bean …
** It is a cold house without a woman.
Not Much Has Changed A crowded Daytona Beach, FL 1957
Oh Great…
What’s with all this talk of ‘into the light’? What happened to darkness? Where’d it go. Bring back the darkness! Damn Biden-Harris!
Anagrams For The Times We Live In
ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT
Haven’t We All Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
Watch Your Ass Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks.
I’m Finally Worth Something There’s a company in Switzerland named Algordanza that will turn your ashes into a diamond for your family.
Nope!
My Kinda Place The Drunk House, Sopot, Poland
Journalism, The Good Old Days Photo Journalist Jessie Tarbox, early 1900s
And Now A Few Words From 1955…
The fast food restaurant is convenient for a quick meal, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.
The More Things Change, The More They… On this day, February 20, in 1939, 20K Americans held a Nazi rally in Madison Square Garden celebrating the rise of Hitler. Meanwhile, outside the Garden police attacked the 100K protesting the rally.
The More Things Change, The More They… Tennessee adopts a new biology text book denying the theory of evolution; June 1925.
Where’s My Damn Olive American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class. (And I’m sure passengers in first-class then complained about that one missing olive).
Yeah, Go Ahead Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Breaking News HOT OFF THE PRESS – As paper stock goes through the rotary printing press, friction causes it to heat up. Therefore, if you grab the paper right off the press it’s hot, and so too the news. Yeah, ya needed to be reminded.
He Drove Ya, Crazy I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Who Cares If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of mortgage, car or student loan payments.
Ha Ha Ha Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside
USA USA I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom, until they are flashing behind you.
Yeah! It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
Did You Know Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.
The Truth Hurts Wisdom comes with age – but sometimes age comes alone.
So, That Might Be Weird Illinois state Rep. Nick Sauer (R) created a fake Instagram account to use nude pics of ex girlfriend to lure men. If you need to read more…
Did Not Know That Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train humans to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Truth and Consequences America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
Good News – With Video Waitress Body Slams Customer Who Groped Her In Savannah, Georgia Restaurant. Watch vid here:
“We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children” First Nations proverb.
