Churchill. Marx. Borowitz.

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen. Winston Churchill.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. Groucho Marx.

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron. Furthermore, it would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. Andy Borowitz.