Yes, right now the planet appears to be rotating off its axis. Good-Bad, Right-Wrong, Up-Down; All seem to have become a case of mistaken identity. But some truths will never get sucked into the Lost World of The Crazies.
~
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person
4) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food
5) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt
3) Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair you once got from a roller coaster
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus
3) You are Santa Claus
4) You look like Santa Claus
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . … Not piddling in your pants
At age 12 success is … . . Having friends
At age 17 success is ….. . Having a driver’s license
At age 35 success is . … . Having money
At age 50 success is . .. .. Having money
At age 70 success is . … . Having a drivers license
At age 75 success is … … Having friends
At age 80 success is . .. .. Not piddling in your pants
